When she came to this city nine years back, she had thought like an ordinary woman.

She had thought of love, marriage, a home, a job and children. Happiness comes in all forms. She had thought anyone she is able to match herself with, she would go with, she had very less conditions.

But, even with these less conditions she found none who showed any interest in her in the way of marriage.

How does the southerners believe, how does the northerners believe?

There was a lot of confusion. There was a lot of chaos. People who were moving around were either having a cushion bag to support their existence and survival. Everyone was preferring to marry people who came with this cushion pack. Those who had it already, wanted a bigger cushion pack.

It was subtle, it was quite indefinite. But, it was there. Is it so difficult to find such a human seeing whom you feel you can match up. At the same time, she had so many troubles to handle.

The day I understood this world, I knew all this meant nothing. There was no one who was practising love, tolerance and anything good. So, the hope of finding a mate had long vanished. We were a group of virgin women who were canoodling people. We four and now Shrum’s sister joined in, Lizzy had made great stories on how she lost her virginity and so did Romcom. Shrum was innocent and her sister and I were the troop blasters. Though her sister was yet not aware of us and our presence, she was ordinarily strong in her thoughts. She may never know us, she may never know we existed.

Now, in 2015 after facing all the facets of New Kumar, she finally felt she may never see that face, and New Kumar would never come down. She decided to find her way. She decided to go back to the monastery where we both had once been friends, though the monastery had changed it’s address. My parent were barbers in cities, they could not afford me so I was send off. I was the second child of their family and my mother was a Lehi. She had her parents struggling to know if life even existed for them. She was sent to spent some days in peace with a little money in our kitty.

Finally, she joined our bandwagon. She decided it was late to even search for one. She is now thirty five years old, too old to find a husband, too old to begin a family, too old to begin a life, too old to have children. As per modern standards, a woman can get pregnant to forty one or forty two, a myth or reality we had stopped caring.

I meanwhile was 38 and now stand at forty one, along with Lizzy and Romcom.

Our lives had taken a different stream and nothing was like before. We desire to find survival, sustenance if possible. Meanwhile she found the face in a doctor. But, then everywhere New Kumar’s name was coming up. New Kumar was being chanted in office by her managers, by her colleagues, in the hospital where she met the doctor, behind autos, in buses, people surrounding her often had that name, the place repeated, the one where he came from, she sat in mute observation. It’s a common name I understand but not so common to appear everywhere.

Was she being indicated to lose her virginity with him and then marry off anyone who came forth? It was for sure he would not marry her. Or, preserving something which was her original state required some external cushion….her mother and father are biggies so she must be allowed to retain her original state….or she is born a goddess so she would be the one to retain the original state as long as she wished, as long as she did not find the man she would like to go with….

It was important to note that there is no harm in doing anything….the choice must rest with the human.

My sister had thought the guy would marry him. Her last boyfriend was from the southern of our country. But, then one day she was picked up in a truck, deported and since she had turned out to be a virgin, having not slept even with three of her boyfriends she was sent to this man, who traded her with sheikhs and biggies.

My sister never kept a penny except things she needed.

She was often treated gruesomely and her torn and tattered skin was always sewn together, cosmetically corrected. The only favour her master did was not sending her to diseased people and not sleeping with her personally.

Was she being indicated to follow the life of my sister? The conversations which we overheard indicated this point very well. The world needed another shit hole, another woman spiralling down, another woman ready to sell her flesh- how?

By being perturbed by the world around her, by being pained by the world around her, by being through sufferings around her, by being revengeful for the world around her, by being innocently naive to be dragged into this world, by beckoning her into this path using a bait.

We often wanted to know if this region never wed off woman in virgin states. Do they want us to lose virginity, then stray around, then marry any fin-min-dickory who would show interest in our dwindling wealth. Fin-min-dickory could be our choice or their choice whom we liked but definitely not an alternative for a woman

This is not

Attitude

Pride

No pain no gain state.

I am sure any level headed human knows the difference between self respect and pride.

So much to keep a simple self respect, no longer simple in this world.

I am sure any level headed human knows the difference between self respect and pride.

So much to keep a simple self respect, no longer simple in this world.

It is not meaningful of course for this mass, since meaningless are those who award Nobel prize to woman stricken by this system, then?

Meaningless are those who are standing up against a system.

Meaningless are those who are detecting the folly.

Twisting her dreams in front of the world is no courage.

Standing to her dreams and fulfilling it would save another daughter of this world.

But then Shrum felt like the world was trying to treat her like a cheap rut.