Self-love vs self-obsession: All through our childhood, we have been taught to give love to others, and in return, we shall receive the same love from them as a reward for our karma. This teaches a lot of pressure on one to be the perfect version of an ideal human being. To fit right into the boxes that are stereotyped as a means of being ‘perfect’ in forms of colour, shape, feature, behaviour, and the list goes on. Amidst this ‘fitting in’ to the boxes procedure, one tends to lose their originality and ultimately starts doubting their self-worth. The only way to break this destructive cycle is to take things into your own hands and practice and preach self-love.

However, these inculcated childhood values and, subsequently, the hardships of life indulge one in being subjected to Self Love Deficit Disorder. This disorder is where one doesn’t love themselves. They continuously think low of themselves. This forces them to stay in situations that are not ideal for themselves, like toxic relationships. This mostly triggers their fear that they aren’t good enough and are full of flaws. SLDD further aggravates one’s fear of being left out alone; to suppress this fear, they compromise in situations where they shouldn’t. With SLDD, one gets addicted to co-dependency and cannot imagine a life where they are self-sufficient. However, too much self-love can be destructive and easily lead to self-obsession.

What is self-love? Self-love vs. self-obsession:

Self-love is the affection you have for yourself that allows you to accept yourself with all your shortcomings. love allows you to understand that making mistakes is a common human tendency that is bound to happen to make you learn something from it and be the best version of yourself. It makes you your ally and supports yourself whenever the situation requires it. Self-love even practices words of affirmation for themselves to rejuvenate you. It introduces you to your strengths and weaknesses and makes you accept them. It teaches you to go easy on yourself and be your priority.

Self-love vs. self-obsession:

It is rather a common mistake to need clarification on self-love and self-obsession. Where self-love denotes acceptance and recognition of all your flaws, self-obsession can be quite destructive. It makes you turn a blind eye to your flaws. By being self-obsessed, you achieve a sense of superiority that you can do no wrong in life. If someone points out their shortcomings, they make a huge fuss out of it, forget about accepting the flaws and work on them.

Self-obsession creates an illusion in the subject’s mind where they think they are always right. They pinpoint others’ shortcomings and lack empathy. Due to their superiority regarding themselves, they possess a lot of ego and arrogance. They need round-the-clock attention and appreciation, and anything less than that makes them create havoc. They become very aggressive and arrogant when the situation is not going as they are.

Self-love preaches all things positive, whereas self-obsession depicts the negative sides of those sides itself. Self-love is essential for one where self-obsession is a means to doom. Self Love Deficit Disorder can give birth to low self-esteem and cause multiple problems in one’s life. One can apply numerous low self-esteem solutions to conduct a positive, confident life. Self-esteem is the depiction of our thoughts about what we perceive ourselves as. With high self-esteem, we validate ourselves and our feelings and do the right opposite with low self-esteem.

How to treat low self-esteem?

These are some via which one can treat their low self-esteem:

• Perceive what you’re great at. We are generally great at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, doing puzzles, or being a companion. People generally appreciate doing things they’re great at. This practice assists in uplifting our mood and confidence.  
• Build positive connections- There are two kinds of people in the world one that uplifts you and second those drain the life out of you. Mingle with the first kinds. They are good for your self-esteem.  Try and build associations with individuals who are positive and value you.
• Be caring towards yourself- Self-loathing tags along as an extra baggage of low self-esteem. So, when those thoughts strike, be kind and caring to yourself, as only you can pull yourself out of the pit. This is one of the major habits of self-love.
• Begin saying “no”- Individuals with low self-esteem frequently feel they need to nod positively to others, in any event, even when they would truly prefer not to. By saying yes to everything, you become overburdened, angry, furious, and discouraged. Generally, saying ‘no ‘only agitates connections if they are truly good, to begin with.

These are only a few ways one can adapt to increase their self-esteem. If you are friends with someone with low self-esteem, you must treat them accordingly.

How to deal with low self-esteem person?

• Make them feel included- This will assist them with seeing that they can make a positive impact and commitment to occasions, individuals, and so forth.
• Give them positive feedback- Inform your friend about their assets, achievements, and resources. This will enable them to think that they are sufficiently significant.
• Validate their feelings- With low self-esteem. There is a lot of doubt in them concerning their feeling. They continuously think low of themselves. To validate their feelings and thoughts. This works wonders for females with low self-esteem and is the primary answer to how to treat a girl with low self-esteem.
• Encourage and listen to them- When you listen to their feelings and encourage them to do better for themselves, a sense of achievement is evoked in them. This helps to regain positive self-esteem oneself. Not listening to them is one major cause of low self-esteem, so try to be there for your friend and only motivate them towards positivity. Make them practice self-love.

Final Thoughts

The journey toward self-love from the pits of Self Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD) isn’t going to be easy, but it’s worth all the effort. With the correct practice of self-love, one does much better. They grow as a person. Self-love teaches you to be independent and responsible for your happiness and encourages you not to burden others with the key to your happiness. You take the entire responsibility and accountability for yourself. If you feel you are subjected to SLDD, reach out for help from your loved ones or even professionals if you feel the need to. You can love others only when you can love yourself.

Read more about mental health-related conditions from posts in this blog.